Developing a healthy relationship takes time, commitment, and sacrifice. Each of these elements requires a major amount of devotion from any individual, male or female. It’s essential to realize where you lack and strive among these requirements. College students and young adults exploring the great divide between exiting high school, acquiring a degree, and getting a professional job don’t always have the means to meet these requirements. Life is a roller coaster with required stages we all must ride through. Whether the ride takes each person really high, or to an unthinkable low; we all are experiencing different stages all the time.
Each obstacle as a single adult can affect the response each individual has towards a serious relationship. So how do you know when you’re ready? Who’s the right person? Why aren’t your relationship’s working? Is it me? Is it them? Is it my past? There are unlimited amounts of reasons why you and whomever you are pursuing can’t quite get it right.
Everyone has a past and a present they must consider before welcoming someone new into their future. Rather too busy, standards are too high, or don’t want anything serious; everyone has their own personal understanding of why they are still single. Whether blaming your past or present, this article may help you decide the real reason you are still single. These are a few examples of why some individuals 18 – 25 feel or think they are single:
Mrs. Nonchalant, 21 and Mrs. Organized, 22 admit they both have high expectation and standards. Both are not interested in compromising who they are and what they expect from there possible significant others. Mrs. Nonchalant believes in love at first sight. Once she finds the one she will know immediately. She’s willing to take a chance with someone new but has to learn how to compromise. Mrs. Organized had a different approach, she’s able to meet certain standard and she believes the person she pursues is able to do the same. She is unwilling to compromise.
Mr. Intellectual,24 relates his reason for being single to his past. The expectations he has now for the potential partners somewhat matches the expectation expected of him from previous relationships. He wants to be single now because he has begun to compare his previous relationships to the people now, and they don’t compare. Rather than having childish relationships, he is now looking for his next relationship to be his last. Mrs. Unstable, 22 on the other hand knows exactly what type of person she’d like but no one meets her requirements as far as mental outlook. She has high expectations but sometimes is indecisive on which person to choose because of her short attention span.
Mrs. Eager to Commit, 23 and Mrs. Naïve, 21 both agree that they want someone to love and cherish. They both want to believe the best in people and always get their hearts broken. Mrs. Naïve is scared to step outside of her comfort zone and wants someone to fit inside her particular type. Essentially she wants understanding and compromise. Mrs. Eager to Commit finds it hard to move on from old flames like Mr. Intellectual but uses what she has to better the person she is fighting for. In a way, she feels she spread herself thin to prove her love to the person she really wants.
Mr. Loyal and Mr. Busybody both admit to living their lives as they choose. Mr. Busybody admits to not putting much time into communication with significant others and having a short attention span. Mr. Loyal doesn’t see the point in holding on to situations that will serve him no growth.
Among the people who chose to discuss their reasons, I have developed 20 reasons why you or someone you know is single and unable to commit:
1. Short attention span so no one can hold your attention
2. Believes in love at first sight but haven’t sighted the person
3. Incapable of compromising what you want in a significant other.
4. Past experiences have you scared to recommit.
5. Lack of communication, rather you or your significant other.
6. Use you financial stability to buy the person or want someone to buy you.
7. Lack of consistency in your significant other or self.
8. Stuck on someone from the past and you’re waiting on closure.
9. Want things your way/incapable of compromise.
10. Comparing previous relationships to current relationships.
11. Not looking for anything serious.
12. Waiting on someone to who is in a relationship,
13. Focused on your life or school.
14. Too busy to get to know anyone.
15. Rushing into things with people who aren’t ready.
16. Cannot decide what you want, whether to be single, in a relationship or with someone else.
17. Judges those by their past.
18. Trying to get yourself together before you get with someone else.
19. You have a negative attitude.
20. Insecure about yourself and your abilities.