Discovering Your Wilderness

As women, we develop daily routines that attribute to our daily lives. Whether we have children or a career, every day has a set schedule that we must abide by. Taking the kids to school, getting to work on time, preparing lunches, or meeting deadlines; we are always on the go. Always making sure life runs smoothly for those around us and to accomplish our personal business goals. We are superheroes if you really think about it.
Each of us, while growing up, had an idea of how we wanted our lives to go. Then life happened, and somehow we ended up in situations that go perfectly with whom we have grown to be. That’s the beauty of our perspectives, they always evolve.

I made the decision as a young adult to move away from everything I knew. I wanted to find myself. I did not want to be defined by the surrounding I grew up in. So, with God’s grace, I went through a 7-year journey of finding myself. I entered into a new wilderness where there were only a few familiar faces but unlimited opportunities to become whomever I wanted to be. A wilderness is a wild and uncultivated region, as of forest or desert, uninhabited or inhabited only by wild animals; a tract of wasteland. Sarah Jakes Roberts defines a spiritual wilderness as an uncultivated region God set up for you to thrive. Whatever the predestined purpose God had established for me, I just knew it would be somewhere else other than my current home. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

Yes, I learned countless lessons, mostly in the hardest way. I continuously strayed away from God. Allowing him to partially restore me, then I’d stray again. I’ve had my fair share of experiences with depression, substance abuse, anxiety and self-sabotage through denial. Those experiences did help me develop strength and build faith in God. He always waited for me, even when he knew I would only leave again. Nevertheless, none of this helped me find myself.

I was unable to do so because I already was her. Throughout every new city I lived in, every obstacle or set back; I’ve lived by the values I learned from where I was from and those who grew with me. Also, from the values that my parents and elders instilled in me, and the relationships I developed as an adolescent; have always been my foundation. My core belief in God’s unfading grace and the love from those who saw me off on my journey. While praying and encouraging me when I wouldn’t do so for myself.

No matter what zip code I registered under, God never allowed the love of my home to fade from me. He allowed me to leave the wilderness he put me in to develop my gifts and widen my perspective. I developed beautiful relationships with new people. I also experienced loss and was misunderstood by those I loved but I was always whom he had predestined me to be. Each experience prepared me for the road to come. I set out to find myself and my wilderness but I discovered I was here all along.

In order to find purpose, we must develop our perspectives and appreciation of things that hold value. God will allow us to remain in a wilderness that was not for us to bring out the wild women we really are in preparation for our individual greatness and his glory. Through each obstacle, he is continuously preparing us to birth our purpose. Have you discovered your wilderness?

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