Day 15: Not Perfect but I Refuse To Quit

I made it two weeks and one day, and I’m still mentally dedicated. THIS HAS NOT BEEN EASY. This has been far from perfect, I’ve broken all the rules, I’ve mentally and physically quick but I’m still here. I have remained optimistic, and I have not swayed from my set goal. After a small and embarrassing health issue, traveling and not having a gym to attend, falling back into to television due to the classic Grey’s Anatomy trap; I am still hell-bent on reaching 21 days of focus and determination.
I had no desire to be this transparent about my shortcoming because I always want to be perfect or at least appear that way. The ideal person to look up to and follow behind. I’ve always had this pre-notion in my head that I wasn’t worthy to lead anyone or set any type of explanation if I couldn’t even remain consistent. I mean, who am I kidding? I can’t even stick to my own goals. Who would really follow and take advice from me? My mind was set. I was not going to finish. Just start over when I was ‘really’ ready. What does that even mean? “Really ready?”
Right there, it hit me. Well, over a series of God’s winks and coincidental situations,( & I DON’T BELIEVE IN COINCIDENCES). God screamed at me, “If you keep starting over. You’ll never finish anything! Keep going!” I have restarted my life, my career, my business ventures or creative projects, my “this is my time”, and I believe in me epiphanies over and over again.
This broken record. The unexpected record scratch and the song started over again. You know, to really appreciate it and hear it right this time. I have self-sabotaged every opportunity I have created for myself to turn the corner by critiquing down to the last step how it should be. I have been turning the corner for years. Developing the best ways to turn, how to step, how to look when I made it, whom I will run into when I finally turn and who I will be.
Life is an open book of unexpected changes. If you try to manage every single change or at least be prepared. You will miss what the changed had to teach you, what the failure may have taught you and the reward you could have possibly received.
So, Keep going. When you fail, keep going. When you make a mistake, keep going. When you break all the rules that you set to do it this time just right, keep going. The finish line always has a special gift the journey prepared you for. When you continuously turn around, you are always presented with familiar obstacles you never allowed yourself to grow through. Also, you will never receive the blessing to propel you forward, or the lesson to prepare you for the next level.

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