Why is being a mom beautiful, again?

Today, I am up super early! Despise going to sleep at 12 something a.m., due to my younger twin’s refusal to get some rest. Unfortunately, he was back up around five-something. Eager to rummage through stuff I slept with on my bed, like I’m still an undergrad in college. He began hitting me in the face with a computer mouse while is trying to stick to my sleep until my set alarm at 7:30am Why is being a Mom beautiful again?

I enjoy being a mom. This has been the most transforming experience. As most moms say, “This is the most beautiful thing that has happened to me!” Lets a dig a bit deeper into the why. Becoming a mom turns your life upside down, one day at a time. From the moment you find out you are expecting to you begin planning out events to celebrating this new life, finding out the sex, and preparing for birth. Becoming a mom is a transformation you can prepare for day-in and day-out. But you can not imagine or truly fall into sync with what it looks or feels like until your beautiful baby, in my case babies, physically arrive. 

No matter who you were before and how you “plan” for things to fall in place, your true preparation and learning takes place day by day. In my case, with monoamniotic twins, MOMO twins for short, my journey was consumed by fear. My entire pregnancy up until birth and their arrival,  I was on pins and needles. Will they be born too early? Will they have birth defects? How can I do this? Who does God think I am? Why would He do this to me? So many questions rooted in fear I drowned myself in. When the twins were finally home, 100 percent healthy and at my beck and call; I fell into the rhythm of trusting God and the journey he picked for me and my perfect blessing. 

Were they perfect? No! Do I still get frustrated and feel inadequate? Yes! On this day one year in, I am STILL within the learning curve. Fighting back frustration and fear. Still asking a million questions. Still tired and somedays extremely sleep-depriving, searching for a 15-minute break or possible way out. I can confidently say now, “This is the most beautiful thing that has happened to me!” I am stronger, wiser, and completely consumed in leading my little humans into the world one day at a time. 

I am more aware of myself and what I need. Because if mom isn’t good, nothing I do for them will be good. I am aligning with what God put me here to do, even after my daily breakdown and millions of questions. Being a mom is beautiful because today is different and a new opportunity to mold my two blessings into who they are destined to be. 

I am continuously teaching myself to look at my glass, as always half full. Quieting my inner critics of what I could have done better or what I forgot to do on my to-do list. It is ok to not have all the answers and make mistakes! God knows I can do this. So, I will trust I can do this!

Jeremiah 29:11New

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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